[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[30.2s] feel guilty as I feel because I feel guilty I think of survivor remorse yeah just uh just just a little
[36.3s] bit so where's your boss friend my boss's name is is Axel Axel Morelli and his headquarters
[43.5s] is in is in Hellgate Dell you round a final bend that opens up into a larger clearing you're
[51.0s] sitting with Johnson she mentioned how much she how much she loved the two of you how you were
[58.5s] how you were family to her I raise my glass and I say to Nulara she saved us all
[67.0s] you're here welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons we're a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast and I'm
[74.1s] your dungeon master Russ More who wasn't just crying like a little like a little cry like a
[79.2s] little bitch yep that's me also with us yeah also with me today is my lovely wife Amy
[90.5s] Stone Cold, Amy More, Heart of Stone, I Don't Cry, I play Thea Amastasia, and brother in cry
[100.6s] Tom Laird, yep that's me I play FlintFirebeard, how's everybody doing today?
[107.0s] good so good tapping into emotions it's so good we thought the finale was a was a heavy episode man
[116.6s] hoo doggy thank you for listening to that last episode and welcome to this episode it'll be a
[122.5s] little lighter hopefully we'll see see how it goes I'm hoping it's heavy on the kiln oh all
[129.0s] right I can get behind this light on emotion heavy on kiln you know where there is any as
[135.1s] an adventure that is heavy on the killing where is over on Patreon Patreon.com slash dumb dragon
[140.5s] cast where we have a whole bunch of bonus episodes by this point probably pretty close
[145.5s] to 30 hours of bonus episodes dang that's a lot varying stories but the main one that
[152.1s] we do over there is run by our good friend Tom here Teary Tom Teary Tom yeah that's the one
[159.1s] yeah it's a it's set in Faerun but it's a it's a homebrew campaign that I've been
[165.4s] making as we go and it's been super fun so far has been I've gotten to throw bodies on top of
[171.8s] like trip stones and shit it's fun times so we play that over there it's for patrons only
[178.7s] although if you scroll way back in the feed there is uh like the first episode of it is in
[184.3s] the regular feed and it only gets better from there it does like like all of our stuff we
[190.4s] are like a fine wine better with age yeah it's fun when the the first time ever that you dm
[197.4s] it's recorded for a podcast so hey carla and i were there too oh yeah not as long standing
[206.1s] as yours so you demand tom you demand thank you not only do i like to throw you guys
[210.6s] into the dm fire but you know i'd like to commit you to multi-year campaigns none of this one
[216.1s] shot bullshit no anyways Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast and when you become a patron we
[221.5s] dedicate an episode to you to one of you every episode and today's episode is dedicated to
[228.6s] aLex aLex thanks aLex thank you thank you aLex Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast
[236.3s] fuck it let's play dnd okay we find ourselves in the moonbrook community the ceremony with
[246.2s] her family has taken place and it's a couple days later at this point um you two have uh
[252.0s] have decided to stick around and just kind of collect yourselves before heading back out on
[256.8s] the road and we find you in the morning getting ready to do so as i'm putting on my weapons and
[267.2s] stuff um i look over and i go but really when i sang in the arms of the angels was it too
[274.3s] was it too much it it uh it felt right in the moment i was asking flint but that's good
[284.2s] it's important to you too rulin i didn't know who else was there rulin takes his head he's like he
[288.5s] was just peeking through the window it's like yeah just okay bye yeah thanks i mean he's he's
[294.9s] not wrong it was a little much but also you could tell it was from the heart so it was
[302.5s] it was good all right i think she maybe would have hated it oh she 100 would have hated it
[309.4s] oh good okay good did it justice then um
[319.0s] i guess we head back to water deep i mean yeah like where where where do we go
[326.9s] what do we really should have talked about this beforehand
[331.2s] oh should we summon one of those trains
[332.9s] ones yeah do you know how to do that no but i'm sure that if we ask someone we'll figure it out
[340.8s] okay here here's an idea we walk out we have all of our stuff right because we want we do not
[345.3s] want to be ill prepared for this okay and then so we just stand where there's a clearing
[350.5s] and we just go i mean i don't remember us doing that in the past but i'm on board for
[357.6s] it and then hopefully we'll be on board the train am i right right i assume we high five
[364.6s] yeah 100 we did well let's go call ourselves a train i mean what the hell can't hurt right
[374.2s] um we go outside and is reuben still ruling ruling reuben spooky ruling is ruling still
[383.9s] just no he's he's gone off he left not well he didn't leave but he's like milling about doing
[393.7s] things chores a ruling i think we're i think it's time we head off of of of course uh you're
[403.0s] always always welcome um as as johnsik has probably said to many times is this is your
[411.7s] home if you need it you uh you let us know if that clown over in uh hellgate dell is giving
[419.4s] you any trouble we'll come right back like we split take care of it of course thank you
[425.4s] thank you how do we get a hold of you just send a letter to
[432.6s] the leo sin probably yeah yeah that's probably best good good okay we will thank you
[438.5s] um you say your we don't have to do goodbyes with everybody but you say your goodbyes with
[446.0s] everybody and you climb back aboard um your carriage with tiny clip-clop and buttercup
[454.5s] and all right the horses we can't just take the train head back out on the road that a
[458.8s] magic train would have oh could probably accommodate the horses yeah good call how big
[466.4s] do you imagine this train to be i thought it was quite small like the hogwarts express
[471.8s] that's a big train well no but not like compartment wise like their normal train train
[477.7s] well yeah but i mean i'm sure it has cargo trains anyway anyway we're on we're on the
[484.2s] carriage now that train has passed it has sailed uh mixed metaphor yeah so okay here i think we
[494.8s] head back to water deep we talk to leo sin i don't know about you i feel like gaping hole
[502.0s] in my life that needs to be filled and it's either going to be adventure alcohol or drugs
[508.1s] you with me uh i'm with you on the adventure aspect i've always needed like a thing
[515.9s] to go do i'm not good at just sitting around uh so let's let's go do some stuff let's do a
[523.0s] thing okay yeah oh wait we were giving one of the horses to the moon brook estate correct yes
[531.4s] we were we were going to give which one was Nularas tiny was tiny's mine clip clops mine so
[537.7s] it's buttercup buttercup okay uh so yes you leave buttercup with the moon brooks i turn back
[545.9s] to donnie and i say donnie we we love having you here and if you want to we would love you
[559.9s] to come with us but if you feel like you you are more at home here with Nularas family we
[569.6s] we would understand i um i'm just gonna assume we could take him maybe should have
[578.3s] talked about this previously i guess but um previously i'm just a dragon right there's
[585.2s] a lot of flashback scenes here um there's a lot to take care of in the wake of someone's
[590.6s] death we don't even know stop rushing us right no um well i mean
[599.9s] i mean you i don't really know donnie will you stay yeah yeah yeah i'll stay yeah it's fine
[609.2s] i'll say i'll stay with his i give him a hug he reciprocates i think he would i would think
[617.4s] half arms yeah they got arms they got yeah he reciprocates it's around like the neck area
[622.2s] you're hugging that well yeah but it's what's on the inside of the account
[626.1s] i feel like donnie and i should come up with some sort of a real elaborate handshake
[632.3s] okay you need to show him the picture i think you might lose some digits on a real elaborate
[636.9s] handshake with him armor and stuff i think i'd be all right is donnie's a medium dragon right
[642.7s] like he's huge yeah but that's cool yeah no there's a handshake
[651.0s] and at the end he blows fire at you but you hold your shield up and then you go
[657.7s] i like it donnie climbs in the back with you and he is um he is a companion of yours
[668.2s] neat let's go i hope we find those guys again to be honest it was just a it was just a little
[676.2s] fun you know regular evildoers oh the guys we ran into before yeah yeah i mean i wouldn't
[684.1s] i wouldn't be opposed to it but there's gonna be lots of guys to run into like that
[689.0s] god i can't wait hey remember that time that uh we fought that oh that um that sucky bitch
[698.2s] oh shit yeah jesus oh she comes back maybe we'll run into her some unfinished business
[705.1s] oh god yeah let's make a list of people who've wronged us and that we should probably tie up
[712.6s] those loose ends because there's a lot it's not the worst idea i've ever heard we got time to
[719.0s] kill on this carriage ride yeah oh remember um i know you know this about me and how great i
[726.3s] am with names do you remember um high elf mcwizard dumb face oh with the brains in
[737.2s] the jars and all the sure sure sure sure what was his name i don't know i need the first
[741.0s] letter though if i'm given the first letter t the ocean that that is prinsbane that is
[750.0s] no that's not right felonious felonious prinsbane yeah he's kind of hot though
[756.0s] oh yeah you had a little thing for him yeah well you know it's like the
[760.6s] well i mean until you saw the brains in the jars and then it was like oh no thank you
[764.2s] yeah it was really weird okay so we got him okay uh there was there was a sucky bitch
[770.6s] okay um who else do we have on this list oh yeah don't you got something going on with
[779.4s] you there that you gotta take care of oh yeah oh i mean unless you want to look like this
[787.0s] any i mean gestures to himself i don't know if that's how that happens but there ain't
[791.4s] nothing wrong with the way you look friend uh but yeah i should probably probably nip this
[796.5s] one in the bud hey so red wizards uh no uh arcane brotherhood all right i say we get that taken
[807.8s] care of first right i know they gave us a list of stuff at one point but fucked if i could remember
[813.0s] what it is it's such a long time i think that notebook got burned up i think there was some
[817.8s] sort of amulet of wonder though if i remember us correctly amulet of wonder that doesn't even
[823.1s] ring a bell oh but i've done a lot of drugs i mean we could always go back and check with them i
[828.4s] guess i mean if we're heading back anyway to talk to Leosin might as well were they in a different
[834.3s] town i can't remember uh they were in luskin was their headquarters but i mean there's gotta
[841.3s] be like an ambassador there right that we could just chat with likely you continue traveling
[846.9s] for a couple hours and you turn a corner and the road ahead of you is blocked by a pool of lava
[856.1s] oh my god yes what is this
[863.3s] no any thoughts really what is this it looks like i mean flaming hot lava in the middle of
[868.2s] the road it's uh it's unexpected yeah in in a forested area and all um i jump off the carriage
[876.4s] not into the lava yeah it's a it's a head away from where i pick up a rock and i throw it into
[882.2s] the lava um it hits the lava and seemingly like melts into it this seems like a great way to
[891.0s] like get rid of stuff oh yeah i mean probably not great for the environment for recycling
[897.4s] purposes but yeah just to get rid of things yeah do you do you have things you want to
[903.0s] get rid of no but i mean like if we had come across those guys and there were bodies i need
[909.4s] to be disposed of anyway um this is is it like a concentrated like a puddle literally like the
[918.9s] size yeah of the reference so like a six by six yeah they're both six by six puddle of okay i
[927.2s] can i make an investigation or like a perception check to see like what is
[932.4s] yeah in what's what
[937.1s] it's an investigation yes okay 17 um you uh you're looking at it and you're getting closer
[943.5s] to it and you don't really feel a lot of heat coming off of it guys it's not it's not that
[949.8s] hot i put my hands out like i'm warming myself as you get closer it's not the heat that you
[956.0s] having just come from the inside of a volcano this is not this is it feels like nothing
[963.9s] i toss another rock in and i look real closely make an arc and it's not really going to tell
[971.3s] you anything um would it be a nature check like do i know if this happens in nature
[978.2s] just like sometimes go nature or arcana spontaneous lava pools spontaneous lava pools
[984.6s] uh well nature is only a plus two which is weird because i'm a druid but arcana is a seven so that's
[991.7s] a 19 it um there's a bit of like it's it seems very out of place like there shouldn't be a pool
[1001.1s] of lava here can i like investigation check and see if i see anything out of the ordinary
[1009.6s] besides this pool of lava sure come on goodness that is a 22
[1021.8s] uh you as you hop down and they're looking around you um you don't see anything out of
[1027.4s] the ordinary everything seems to be in in place kind of along you don't see any signs of people
[1033.8s] or um or anything else in the trees for that matter um you also one giant pile of lava on the
[1041.8s] road you also um as you get closer you don't feel any heat being emitted from it um and
[1050.8s] with the 22 you i mean both of you begin to sense that maybe there's something magical about
[1059.0s] it well i had that feeling from the get-go lava doesn't just appear in places unless it does
[1066.0s] sure uh flint okay so um i think this is straight up magic lava okay it's not hot
[1076.6s] i'm not super good with magic so i'm gonna defer to your thoughts on this the things we
[1081.1s] throw into it do they do they look like they burn up or do they just it kind of it looks like
[1090.3s] they are being like sucked into and as you would toss something into lava it looks like
[1096.6s] it's melting or burning so if like a terminator fell into this lava pool would he have the
[1102.7s] strength to put the thumbs up out always or would he just be gone you got to find a
[1110.0s] terminator before we know the true answer to this okay tibby the age-old riddle tibby if a terminator
[1117.7s] falls in the lava pool in the woods does he have the strength to give the thumbs up yeah and if
[1122.1s] anyone's around to see it does he give the thumbs up at all good question three thumbs it
[1126.9s] up i i don't know i feel like this is kind of portal-esque donnie have you ever seen anything
[1134.0s] like this before uh like a mist like a mad magically appearing lava pool lava pool i mean
[1142.9s] if only there was a way to tell if it was magic or not well i for sure believe in my heart and
[1148.5s] hearts it's magic but i guess i'm gonna detect magic on it so i put my hands over top of it
[1154.7s] and i go tell me what kind of magic you are you magic magic hey you magic hey you magic
[1164.2s] you do so and it begins to glow for you with this aura that surrounds the entire pool
[1172.3s] and as you move closer to inspect it there definitely is no heat coming off of it but you
[1178.6s] also sense that it is some sort of illusion spell
[1188.3s] well it's magic somebody put it here somebody put it here to stop people because this is just a
[1198.0s] trick i take one step into the lava all right am i like hanging on to her what's happening
[1209.0s] you tell me do you just step i'm impulsive i'm just stepping in what are you doing flint
[1214.3s] i am caught off guard by the fact that you're just stepping into it um flint you fall in i go
[1220.7s] fuck you you see the uh begin to move to step into the lava uh her foot hits the top of it
[1230.4s] and as the stones that you tossed into did it begins to envelop around and looks like
[1236.2s] it's burning you feel no heat from it and as you step down it's about four to six inches until you
[1242.7s] hit ground there's no heat your foot is fine and you have stepped onto the ground beneath this but
[1250.9s] but i don't tell him that and i and i scream out in pain i go oh god oh god and i rush
[1257.5s] forward to to grab her to pull her back out of it and i just jumped just out of your reach
[1262.2s] fully into the puddle and go jk it's an illusion it's meant to stop passerby's
[1270.4s] i bet someone's already raided our someone's probably taking over shit right now we've been
[1276.3s] looking at this fucking puddle lava i turned around to look at the the cart seemingly untouched
[1283.6s] oh i was wrong about pilfering but we can just drive right through this if we can convince
[1289.5s] the horses it's fine all right uh i'm gonna use whoever's riding or driving
[1299.6s] do an animal handling yeah well i was going to grab them by the by the reins and lead them
[1304.8s] through it's still an animal handling oh i've got a plus nine to animal handle well i'm a
[1308.8s] minus one that's a 20 minus one i don't even know why i have a horse
[1313.9s] uh 20 uh yeah there's some initial resistance but as they kind of notice that you yourself
[1322.7s] are walking in and they've got them kind of blinders on they walk through and you make
[1329.6s] it through this lava pool illusion unscathed lava pollution we solved the lava pool puzzle
[1338.5s] okay well that was weird
[1347.1s] yeah do you think we're gonna run into like more shit like that oh god i hope so
[1352.2s] i'm like thrill seeker thea at this point like i just fucking want just like whatever man
[1359.0s] all right i hop back up on the on the carriage is it a carriage cart cart
[1366.4s] i've been calling it a carriage but it's all the same shit yeah yeah um yeah you
[1371.2s] you hop back up on and you carry on your way
[1376.5s] down the road a ways you begin to hear um the sound of i get oh hold on make a perception check
[1387.3s] 20 also pretty good
[1390.5s] good well i didn't have my page open for my bonus 17 just trust me it's also pretty good
[1398.4s] um you hear muffled what sound like from the tone the insults being thrown back it like back
[1408.6s] and forth between two different voices spells being thrown off you hear like ice being
[1415.2s] formed and breaking that's what you hear at this moment hey do you hear fighting yeah it sounds
[1422.1s] like uh like wizards why does everyone immediately think wizards when there are spells being
[1429.4s] thrown oh i guess it's just like that default assumption but that's right i shouldn't i
[1433.7s] shouldn't assume thank you should we go and see what's up yeah yeah uh sorry again about
[1443.6s] the spell shaming hey no that's okay estherids we're you know we didn't we didn't study for it
[1453.5s] it's just you know whatever it's fine arguably the arguably never mind arguably i think if you
[1460.2s] can't say arguably you shouldn't be able to argue after that probably the sentence has to
[1464.9s] stop there it does and it does you carry on a little more ways and the the sounds are
[1470.2s] getting louder and you begin to see like ice walls being thrown up all sides and as you get
[1477.4s] close you see one massive ice wall that cuts across and beyond it you can kind of see figures
[1485.0s] casting these spells on the other side of the ice wall but it appears impassable
[1491.5s] from your current standpoint too if you were to try to go around i try to oh sorry go ahead
[1497.2s] i was gonna say do these figures appear to be casting them at one another or are they
[1501.4s] just like showing off um look what i can do from the from the tone of voice and you can
[1507.6s] begin to hear um more still more muffled uh phrases but things like you sissy nanny pants
[1516.2s] you stole my spell book oh god you're right all right i i yell over the wall um excuse me
[1527.2s] we're back in the middle
[1536.9s] we need more middle songs well i'm the only i mean there's that jimmy world middle song
[1542.2s] that we've never used which is sort of surprising maybe two on the nose said marin morris and
[1547.4s] gray with the middle that one was popular this year yeah that one yeah um well we're
[1555.1s] here i like the russia ridges though yeah they're much better yeah right those are better
[1560.1s] yeah that's that's what i go for keep them up brass we love them thank you thank you um where i
[1567.4s] sing all the time not no not true i haven't sung a lot lately in the latest season i need
[1573.1s] to up my game on the singing we'll work on that we'll work on that yeah is over on Patreon
[1577.9s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast we've got uh beginning in september which is now we had uh
[1585.1s] added a whole bunch of new tier options some really cool stuff including a whole bunch of
[1590.6s] exclusive bonus content that you can get your your your your no not really your hands on but
[1596.1s] your ears on get your digital hands all over it that's right what are some of those bonus
[1602.3s] content things oh maybe like the side scroller episodes that i dm those ones those are bonus
[1608.2s] contents they come out every 15th of the month and right now i do believe uh the players are
[1613.8s] in a fun baking competition they certainly are in a fun baking competition i'm thinking that
[1620.1s] they're gonna do really well i'm assuming so maybe maybe i wasn't rolling very good but
[1625.9s] we'll see we'll see how it goes um we also debuted our new show over on Patreon
[1633.3s] previous long-running patrons have heard some of the episodes already but we have more episodes
[1639.1s] coming for a new show facing fate which launches january 2020 that seems like a long
[1647.8s] way away but it's really not but it's not very far away and if you're a patron you're
[1652.4s] gonna be able to hear it ahead of everybody else we are releasing weekly episodes right now i think
[1658.0s] we're up to episode three next week that's coming out and then there will be 10 episodes
[1664.8s] that all come out for patrons exclusively before they're available to the public
[1669.1s] so we want you to go check that out um as well we were just together for a really cool
[1675.0s] live show did we tell you about the live show that's the thing that happened we were
[1680.0s] in edmonton it was wonderful we weren't allowed to swear and we did it i think we did it yeah we
[1686.1s] didn't swear we did it we checked all the boxes we hit the time limit we didn't swear
[1692.3s] it was a great time and that's going to be available to patrons as soon as i'm able to
[1696.8s] get it edited but again it will be available to patrons before everybody else so go check
[1702.7s] that out at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast please and thank you now let's get you back to the episode
[1718.8s] welcome to facing fate an anthological audio fiction actual play podcast what does that
[1726.4s] mean outside of being amazing alliteration well it means when you subscribe to facing fate
[1732.9s] you will find two 10 episode seasons every year starting january 2020 in the facing fate feed
[1740.1s] each season will take you through a different setting different genre
[1743.5s] and different characters going through thrilling exhilarating and maybe hilarious
[1747.6s] collaborative stories i'm your game master rust more and along with my friends amy more
[1753.8s] carla max dead and tom laird we will bring you along on a shared journey together season
[1759.5s] one of facing fate titled lunacorp begins january 2020 lunacorp is a sci-fi thriller
[1766.8s] placing you among the crew of a near future moon base mining for an alternate energy source
[1773.2s] but the decisions and hasty thinking of mankind in this time place the crew and the world in
[1779.4s] danger subscribe to facing fate in your favorite podcast app to hear sneak peeks world
[1785.6s] archives and more leading up to january 2020 or visit facing fate.com to find our social feeds
[1792.0s] and more about us patrons of dumb dragons productions have early access to weekly releases
[1797.8s] of season one now join the crew of lunacorp main base at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon
[1805.1s] cast
[1820.4s] facing fate a dumb dragons production
[1827.3s] it was my spell book you stole it in the first place
[1830.4s] so hello what
[1835.8s] ahoy what uh what seems to be the problem there gents
[1842.0s] no nobody nobody's here you're you're talking right now no yeah also someone made this big
[1849.4s] ice wall it's super impressive i would love to meet the person who made this ice wall oh
[1857.2s] you're too you're too kind and a um a doorway in the ice wall opens up kind of melts away
[1864.6s] and opens up and you see two men one very stick thin very old like like how are you alive
[1876.2s] kind of how are you alive kind of old the skin is just like hanging off of his bones
[1882.0s] but he's got big smile rosy cheeks um the other man he's a very burly kind of he's got that
[1889.9s] a spiraled mustache um very slicked over and very well done hair and he's standing
[1896.6s] very perturbed like a few steps back and the older man he comes forward and he says yes well
[1902.0s] that that was me who created this how did you get past the lava you you're not supposed to
[1907.4s] step inside lava we well we were trying to keep people away so we put that that fun thing there
[1916.0s] what are you keeping people away from our our our fisticuffs here oh is it like a wizard's
[1923.4s] duel heath i can't remember which voice i was using when when when i said that you stole my
[1930.2s] spell book but i think he's i think he stole my spell book i did not steal your spell book i
[1937.3s] took my spell book back oh you didn't write your name in it oh look it says dandel's
[1947.4s] spell book right here who's dandel i am dandel he is dandel and it says his name in the book
[1954.6s] he wrote it look at it he just scrawled he scratched it in there with a knife right
[1958.5s] now oh just right now dandel that's in poor form i am armix the great you seem like fine travelers
[1965.4s] what what brings you through this what's let me get this let me get this thing out of the way
[1970.1s] here he dispels the ice wall are we battling still yes yes in a moment i have a question
[1982.7s] fire away my dear can you not share the spell book no you can't share
[1988.2s] secrets you can't share a wizard's spell book but if you've both read it yeah how did he have
[1994.5s] it in the first place then i don't know what you're talking about
[2001.0s] could you help me get my spell book back you hold him down all like rub dirt in his face or
[2005.1s] something wow that sounds like a super mature way to deal with this yeah what what if you had
[2014.0s] a competition and the winner wins the rights to own the book who did we could be judges
[2021.3s] oh what what kind of competition would we do a magic competition obviously well yeah you were
[2027.9s] you were the ones who who used their illusion magic to to make that lava on the on the path
[2033.2s] and then made the ice wall it was good it was very believable five minutes five minutes that's
[2038.7s] all well i mean she knows a thing or two about magic it would have stopped me a lot longer oh
[2043.3s] you're a wizard as well no huh she's the druid she's the druid oh you're one of the earthen
[2053.5s] types yes you draw from the land you don't have to say it like that i didn't ask you you
[2059.2s] seem like good people still no nevertheless nevertheless um okay so we have a we have
[2066.2s] a competition um well let's say that we perhaps hand over the book to you and we cast because
[2076.8s] you know about magic we cast one of the spells in the book and if we get it if either of us
[2082.0s] get that one right the very hardest one or the one that you pick perhaps if we get that
[2089.0s] right then then it's truly that person's book of course of course why not this um this seems
[2099.3s] like a rigged situation well sir if it's really your book of course you know all the spells
[2106.5s] yeah you would have it inside and out memorized i i would i would have it inside and out
[2113.5s] memorized so there's nothing to worry about for you nothing to worry about for me so hand
[2120.6s] over the book i'm not a wizard these spells would be absolutely useless to a lowly druid
[2128.0s] such as myself also not a wizard over here if you can tell peg peg you is not a wizard
[2135.7s] bear scarred one i mean it's pretty obvious but just thought i'd let you know for sure
[2140.2s] put your mind at ease in case you were wondering he takes a few steps towards you and
[2146.3s] kind of two hands holding the book out past the other wizard and i rip off my face mask
[2154.2s] to reveal a wizard underneath this entire time i played the long game for this spell book
[2160.4s] he hands it over to you to just kind of in both of your general direction
[2165.4s] i take the book he res there's resistance i'm pulling back i take and he releases it fine thank
[2175.7s] you oh choose choose a spell one of the most difficulty can we can we have a little aside
[2187.0s] to decide here sure yes of course of course of course and they go back kind of off to the
[2192.6s] side there and like finally gonna get my spell book back what if what if we make them cast us a
[2199.9s] wish do we know what that spell does uh wish is the mightiest spell a mortal creature can cast
[2210.5s] by simply speaking aloud you can alter the very foundations of reality in accord with your
[2216.2s] desires basically that's the most powerful spell in the game now do these wizards know that spell
[2226.3s] tom you roll a d20 amy you choose odds or evens evens no odds 17
[2237.6s] the spell is in there
[2238.6s] there or what you can presume is that is a it says wish and it describes some components
[2253.8s] and has some somatic and verbal directions beside it
[2260.6s] okay so my first thing like what do what do we want them to what are we wishing for
[2266.6s] um
[2270.0s] oh geez we have we have to be careful things like this can go bad really quickly
[2277.0s] you know like you wish that someone would fall in love with you and that person becomes
[2281.9s] like completely obsessed with you and ends up like murdering you in a lover's rage sure
[2286.9s] yeah it becomes like a real single white female situation yeah so i don't know what that
[2293.0s] means but yes it sounds like that it was a movie from the early 90s uh where like this
[2301.4s] woman gets a roommate and then the roommate like obsesses over the other person's life
[2305.8s] and tries to like kill everyone in her life and yada yada yada anyway so it's like a
[2311.5s] psychosexual thriller what's a movie that was out of game oh that was out of game okay
[2318.3s] okay i think that i think we should i don't know can you wish someone to tell the truth
[2327.3s] about the book oh that's real smart
[2334.6s] one always lies one always tells the truth right which one is it
[2340.2s] should we try that out where's that can happen is we're back to where we are and
[2344.7s] we just get them to do another spell i mean i feel like we should ask for something impartial
[2349.3s] towards the book because that way neither one of them will have any like ulterior motive i know
[2355.8s] i wish i had my bag of holding back it's a good wish without any of the items inside
[2362.3s] because i i want those to remain with the dragon i'm into it let's do it that's what
[2369.4s] i was wanting to give at the beginning during the big meeting with the dragons
[2374.7s] i was i i said i could have they could have everything in my bag of holding
[2379.3s] and then they took the bag and i wanted the backpack no she wanted the bag because
[2383.9s] it was a stolen bag oh the bag was stolen really yeah i don't i don't recall i don't
[2390.1s] yeah she wanted the bag and then you just forgot to take all your shit out that's how
[2393.2s] that went oh right yes i did okay then um i just wish for a new bag of holding
[2399.8s] i'm into it let's do it okay all right
[2406.6s] magnanimous wizards yes yes what what have you decided something something very difficult
[2412.6s] obviously i have a wish a wish a wish um my my dear i don't i try i'm trying very hard
[2425.1s] not to look down but wish spells can be difficult difficult i turn toward flint and i say
[2434.4s] i'm did i mishear them did they not want the most difficult spell i mean no that is what they
[2443.4s] what they said and they also were talking up their abilities pretty highly so i feel like
[2449.0s] this is a good ask i don't wish for anything grand i wish i had a bag of holding
[2461.2s] see i used to have one but i don't anymore and while i don't wish to have that bag of holding
[2467.0s] back i would like a new one can it be done um well of of of course of course it can be
[2477.1s] done yes yes it's really quite easy actually some may say that you you don't even have to
[2484.2s] break a sweat over something like that this is well confident dandel says okay
[2498.1s] you wish for a bag of holding anything else being wished for that seems like a rather small
[2504.9s] use of such a spell flint is there anything you wish for i suppose if they do have to separately
[2512.3s] oh they do both have to cast wish don't they oh okay what if i could speed this along this
[2519.3s] entire thing and just flickily split just get you what you need well getting us what i need
[2528.6s] and creating what we ask for are two different things that's true good sir kids that's very
[2536.0s] true but she has wished for a bag of holding yes yes the wizard rus before you go forward
[2548.4s] yeah are there any like missing dwarven relics that i'm aware of through my history knowledge
[2555.8s] um a former king of mithral hall brunor battle hammer his axe was lost in a battle before he
[2569.5s] was uh before his kinghood was transferred it is a single bladed axe with a gold handle
[2577.3s] handle um and carved within it is the symbol of clan battle hammer which is a foaming mug
[2589.5s] so if i were to if this axe were to magically appear in front of
[2593.6s] uh flint he would know it without question yep yeah okay okay uh well good wizards i do
[2601.6s] have a request then can you i wish for you to present me the axe of one brunor battle hammer
[2610.8s] um okay great
[2616.2s] cool so and the the the one to complete this task
[2623.0s] quickest or first or how do we want to determine this well i don't think both of you are going
[2630.5s] to be able to complete it so whoever does complete the task within what do we say an hour
[2639.1s] what's the castings hold on it's instantaneous oh within like right fucking now so a five
[2646.3s] minute time limit whoever can do it in five minutes chop style says uh all right one axe
[2654.8s] and one bag of holding coming up they begin uh separately to
[2665.6s] recite incantations each sounds slightly different than the other can i try to follow
[2674.2s] along in the book i assume the incantation is written down it's a spell book right
[2679.8s] yep can i follow along um yeah neither sound exactly like what's written there okay
[2689.2s] i can't wait for our magical axe bag that attacks us to show up it's gonna be good both
[2697.8s] there's no success or fail on this it's just happens it just happens but fucking wish but
[2703.5s] i mean only one of them should know the spell correct if we determine this correctly you would
[2709.4s] think dandel finishes his incantation and a glow begins to form within his hands um and it
[2720.3s] spreads out um to begin to form a long-handled single-headed axe as it comes into view
[2732.3s] to Armex finishes his incantation and in a swirl of light and sparkle a bag
[2747.4s] flumps into his hand so great well the axe begins to form and it is clear as day the
[2757.1s] axe that went missing from brunor battle hammer
[2762.9s] and Armex walks over to thea and hands you this bag says there's your bag my dear
[2771.6s] i take it um i tuck the book under my arm and i and i take it and i inspect the bag
[2779.0s] i cast detect magic on it sure because it should be a fucking magical bag yeah is it
[2785.9s] magical fucking bag uh it is a magical fucking bag it is a bag of holding you also um do i see
[2795.8s] anything like embossed on it emblazoned um it it looks you tell me what the bag looks like
[2807.0s] uh the bag is messenger bag style yeah it's got that flap and on it it is embossed i guess stamped
[2819.8s] with um it's a brown bag stamped with green leaves and vines that go along the edge but
[2828.6s] otherwise very simple it'd go with anything yeah awesome i did really put my hand into the
[2837.0s] bag to see if there's anything inside of it uh there doesn't appear to be anything inside of
[2841.0s] it that's unusual empty bag of holding okay it's brand new well done Armex um your detect
[2847.1s] magic yep your detect magic also picks up um two varying degrees of conjuration magic a very
[2856.2s] powerful aura coming from this axe and a much lesser aura coming from kind of Armex and the bag
[2867.0s] Armex you you did cast wish to get this bag did you not
[2875.4s] of course i granted your wish to get you this bag my no no no no no no you didn't i did not
[2881.4s] want you to grant my wish to get me this bag but i wanted you to cast wish to get me this bag
[2890.5s] and i did i don't answered your wish to get you the bag okay book please slap his hand away
[2900.9s] it is very clear to me who the winner of this challenge is
[2906.6s] is you see his we're gonna have to fight him you see his eyes begin to glow
[2913.9s] a deep red and he says give me the book
[2922.8s] no no you know what let me think about it for a minute i'm gonna say no
[2934.2s] yeah no yeah i'm gonna have to say no this was fair and square except you didn't use the spell
[2943.6s] dandel sees Armex getting very agitated and he says you need to run now
[2954.7s] as his eyes begin to glow red and you see a ball of flame begin to form in his hands
[2965.9s] i mean we should probably be running it i throw the book at dandel yep throw the book at
[2971.7s] dandel throw the book at him amy i saw the book no i literally toss the spell book at dandel
[2979.3s] um he it flies through the air and Armex looks at it as it's flying through the air and it hits
[2985.8s] dandel's hand the axe drops to the ground and unless you're doing anything else make a deck
[2996.4s] save i mean he wasn't able to throw the axe to me while he was catching the book
[3002.3s] 17 plus oh nat 20 oh bitch yeah 19 i feel like i've got the most dexterity ever known
[3016.2s] you have all the decks or dwarf you're so dexterous a massive ball of fire erupts
[3025.6s] from Armex he casts fireball dandel in an instant quickly sees you two running and conjures
[3036.6s] shield in front of your carriage and shields you a bit but shields your horses from the
[3045.2s] fire blast you're going to take some damage that seems fair yep half 86
[3057.0s] at least the horses are okay
[3061.6s] how do i feel like on my nat 20 i should take 25 percent of 86 but 10
[3067.0s] 22 so you take 11 fire damage as you dive into the trees and you see your horses rear up
[3078.0s] as they are protected and shielded by dandel and the spell that he cast
[3083.7s] they turn and face each other and begin firing spells back and forth at each other again
[3089.4s] do we have anything like a net or a hook or a net with hooks on it
[3101.0s] maybe what's your plan here flint you tell me what your plan is and justify why it would be
[3106.4s] in there my plan is to tie something to the end of my dwarven thrower that will maybe hook
[3114.4s] that axe and bring it on back to me while it flies on by you know don't stop never give up
[3123.8s] hold your high and reach the top show the whole world what you have got bring it all back to me
[3128.8s] i could potentially just like pop over there real fast they're they're slinging spells like
[3135.1s] back and forth like high casted high damaged spells at each other i don't think it's a good
[3141.4s] idea for us to like wade back into that minefield but if i could maybe like snag that
[3147.5s] axe with the old boomerang hammer yeah we'll say that if you may as you you can probably
[3154.3s] make it back to uh make it back to the carriage and yeah i mean sure you've got it in the back
[3163.6s] there you got to make a make an attack throw just give me a plus the weapons bonus sure all
[3173.4s] right okay uh yeah so i jury rig mcgyver style something together to uh to maybe like scoop this
[3183.1s] axe back up on its flight back like you know those tire strips how they're like only one
[3188.6s] way so if you drive over them the other way they're like free and clear so yeah i'll
[3192.7s] set that up so that if it flies over it one way it's okay but when it flies back it like
[3197.9s] digs into the ground a little and like i like it on over yeah uh so that is a 27
[3205.7s] for the door and thrower as lightning bolts and flames are being shot all around ice being
[3211.6s] carved up the walls again you throw your door open hammer it cuts between these two wizards
[3218.2s] and zips back but as the rope kind of clears through not only does it catch your axe but
[3225.4s] it clears the feet out from under the wizards and they fall to the ground the axe comes back
[3231.4s] tumbling back to the care it doesn't make quite make it all the way to you but it it makes it
[3235.7s] to the carriage i'm gonna grab it and then we're gonna get the fuck out of here uh you
[3241.3s] notice there is another path that uh a ways back you turn the other way so as not to get
[3246.6s] in the midst of these two battling wizards and you head back to that other path going back
[3253.5s] to water oh they crazy how long do you think they've been battling i think a while
[3261.0s] i think our mix was young when they started
[3265.4s] but hey you got that sweet bag there i do finally have a new bag of holding
[3271.4s] feels good and i got this axe that we've been looking for for fuck millenniums pretty much oh
[3277.7s] that's good maybe they'll make you king because of it i mean i don't want to be king i just want
[3282.2s] to put it back to mithral hall where it belongs yeah i guess that's okay too okay i mean
[3287.2s] really it's just a ceremonial axe more than anything it's sure sure yeah i got it
[3293.4s] it you guys head back uh you're talking along the way i mean fyi russ if they want to make
[3301.4s] flint king whatever i'm down for it but like that's not his angle here we'll get there
[3306.6s] when we get there do you want me to hold your axe i show my bag i mean let's maybe
[3314.2s] put something a little less valuable in it first to make sure that it's a proper working
[3317.7s] bag of holding before we put that uh super valuable axe that just got returned to us
[3322.1s] yeah okay fair enough i take a pen from a pen yeah like a quill quill yeah quill pen
[3329.4s] yeah sure yeah like a fountain pen i assume that they if they i mean leonis has got to be
[3334.9s] writing with something if they forced weapons yeah no i think you i think you took some
[3339.0s] yeah fountain pens i always have fountain pens with me oh you did you stole them from the one
[3342.7s] desk i sure did yeah i put i put one into the bag of holding it goes in and then i
[3349.0s] reach in to take it out and it comes out oh all right i've seen enough for me he answered
[3354.8s] your wish i guess i mean i thought it might be some sort of trick bag of holding maybe
[3360.7s] especially with the look on russ's face but i mean all right let's see what other
[3364.9s] shenanigans we can get up to on the road home
[3385.4s] the songs nowhere land healing in photos and the machine thinks are by Kavin mcleod of
[3390.8s] incompetech.filmmusic.io if you like what you're hearing consider supporting the show
[3396.6s] by visiting Patreon.com dumb dragon cast it's a couple days later um Nulara has been um
[3407.0s] the ceremony to bury no fuck it has been disposed of that's what he was gonna say
[3413.0s] no that wasn't i was gonna say you know you can compost humans now just saying you
[3417.9s] continue traveling for a couple roads couple roads just a couple roads just a couple roads
[3423.4s] this is fun you're playing settlers of katana and you've built four roads
[3429.0s] it's not the longest road they're not joining though no it's not the longest road
[3432.2s] got to get that middle piece Dumbgeons and dragons is a dumb dragons production